Author Matt Haig has spoken about the mental-health breakdown he experienced while living in Ibiza in the late 1990s, explaining that he was suicidal at the time but became reluctant to seek professional help after an early experience with a doctor.

Haig discussed the episode during an appearance on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs, reflecting on the period when he was living in Ibiza with his then-partner, Andrea Semple.

A Breakdown in Ibiza

Haig was in his early twenties when he experienced what he described as a sudden breakdown.

He said he had gone for a run one morning when his mental state changed dramatically. He described the experience as similar to a panic attack that did not end and said the situation escalated to the point where he felt suicidal.

At the time, Haig and Semple were living in a villa in Ibiza.

He told the programme that the property's location near cliffs became particularly concerning because he could simply walk away from the villa and disappear. He recalled that Semple found him in that state and helped him move away from the cliffs.

Seeking Medical Help

Semple eventually persuaded Haig to go to hospital.

Haig recalled that the experience was frightening and that he was also experiencing agoraphobia. He was prescribed diazepam, which he said did not help him.

After returning to the UK, Haig continued to experience physical and psychological symptoms, including chest tightness, a racing heart and feelings of derealisation.

He eventually visited a GP, but said the consultation left him feeling judged after being asked about previous recreational drug use.

Why He Stopped Seeking Help

Haig said he was not offered therapy during that period and that he and his partner could not afford private therapy.

He also said the experience with the GP contributed to his reluctance to seek further help.

Describing his state at the time, Haig said he became “phobic about getting help” and did not receive therapeutic help for around 20 years.

His account is a reflection on his experience at the time and should not be taken as a general assessment of medical care.

Recovery Took Time

Haig returned to Nottingham and initially lived with his parents.

He and Semple later moved to Leeds, where he began rebuilding his life and writing.

He said regular walks helped him gradually process what had happened. He also stopped drinking and said he never took drugs again.

Haig has previously described the period as an experience in which he became convinced that he would not survive into his mid-twenties.

Over time, he said that reaching each successive birthday helped challenge those fears and gave him a different perspective on his future.

Therapy Eventually Became Part of His Recovery

Years later, Haig received therapy that he has described as an important part of his recovery.

His experiences with depression and anxiety became the subject of his 2015 memoir, Reasons to Stay Alive, which brought his personal story to a much wider audience.

He has subsequently continued to speak publicly about mental health and the importance of discussing experiences that can otherwise remain hidden.

Ibiza Became Part of His Writing

Haig's relationship with Ibiza has changed considerably since the breakdown.

He previously described leaving the island after becoming ill and later returning after therapy had helped him address issues surrounding his mental health and drinking.

That return also influenced his writing. His novel The Life Impossible, published in 2024, is set largely in Ibiza and explores themes including grief, change, connection and the possibility of finding a new direction in life.

Haig has said that returning to Ibiza allowed him to see the island differently from when he was there as a young man.

From Crisis to Writing

Haig's experience in Ibiza ultimately became one of the foundations for his later work.

His career includes novels such as The Midnight Library and The Life Impossible, as well as children's books and non-fiction.

His memoir Reasons to Stay Alive was particularly closely connected to his own experience of depression and recovery.

In his latest interview, his recollection of the Ibiza breakdown adds further detail to a story he has discussed publicly for many years: an extremely difficult period followed by a long process of recovery, therapy and eventually a return to the island that had been associated with his crisis.